Christopher, we hardly knew ye
Bringing back a holiday that never vanished is Trump's latest harebrained idea.
President Trump declared on April 27 that he is “bringing Columbus Day back from the ashes.” Funny, I didn’t know it had been burned.
“The Democrats did everything possible to destroy Christopher Columbus, his reputation and all of the Italians that love him so much,” Trump continued in a post on his Truth Social platform. “They tore down his Statues, and put up nothing but ‘WOKE,’ or even worse, nothing at all! Well, you’ll be happy to know, Christopher is going to make a major comeback. I am hereby reinstating Columbus Day under the same rules, dates, and locations, as it has had for all of the many decades before!”
I’m wondering: How can you “reinstate” something that was never suspended? Maybe Trump is trying to use “New Coke” logic.
In April 1985, the Coca-Cola Co. reformulated its flagship soda — good ol’ Coke — and replaced it with a sweeter version, dubbed “New Coke.” The company meant New Coke to compete with the sweeter cola made by its chief rival, Pepsi. But public reaction was swift and negative: Coca-Cola reportedly received more than 40,000 calls and letters in protest against the demise of Coke. Just 79 days after New Coke appeared, Coca-Cola reinstated its old formula as “Coca-Cola Classic.” So, yes, Coke was “reinstated” after disappearing for a while.
But that’s not what happened to “Christopher.” Columbus Day didn’t disappear. It has, in fact, been celebrated in the U.S. since its inception as a federal holiday on Oct. 12, 1937. (If you missed that class in history, Oct. 12, 1492, is the day that Columbus bumped into an island in the Bahamas and mistakenly thought he had reached the “Indies.” Thus, he dubbed the Indigenous people already living there “Indians.” No, they haven’t forced to change their name to “Guardians.”)
In 1971, Congress declared that Columbus Day would be celebrated each year on the second Monday of October, the better to give Federal workers another long weekend. Maybe you get an extra Monday off, too. Most banks are closed. Mail is not delivered. But New York City still has its Columbus Day parade. And millions of other Americans honor the “Admiral of the Ocean Sea” by purchasing mattresses during Columbus Day sales. Hardly a disappearing act.
The idea of having an Indigenous Peoples’ Day to replace Columbus Day in the United States was first floated in 1977 at the United Nations-sponsored International Conference on Discrimination Against Indigenous Populations in the Americas. But this idea sailed in circles for more than a decade, until South Dakota became the first state to harbor it by celebrating “Native American Day” on October 12, 1989. As of 2024, more than 200 American cities and 23 states recognize, by official proclamation or some other means, Indigenous Peoples’ Day. Some have removed any reference to “Columbus Day,” but — and this is important — most allow the two recognitions to coexist.
In 2021, Joe Biden became the first president to officially recognize Indigenous Peoples’ Day nationally. In a proclamation, Biden wrote, “For generations, Federal policies systematically sought to assimilate and displace Native people and eradicate Native cultures. Today, we recognize Indigenous peoples’ resilience and strength as well as the immeasurable positive impact that they have made on every aspect of American society.”
Hmmm. No mention of eliminating Trump’s pal Chris.
It’s true that in the wake of the Black Lives Matter protests of 2020 participants pulled down statues honoring many historic figures that over the years had fallen out of favor or been branded as — shall we say “tromping” on the rights of the less fortunate. Statues of Confederate generals, a few Spanish conquistadors, and even the Virgin Mary wound up knocked down or even beheaded. Statues of Columbus also were toppled or defaced in many cities. Eventually, other monuments and statues honoring Confederates and Columbus were removed and put into storage or melted down. But as of 2025, more than 150 statues of Columbus remain in America. So the theory of Columbus as Houdini just doesn’t hold water. That’s simply a fact.
But in the Trumpian universe, mentioning hard facts can be difficult. In his eyes, Capt. Chris has been forgotten, consigned by liberals to the trash heap of history. So we have Columbus Day being “reinstated.”
Trump’s executive order to this effect is comingled with a raft of others designed to remake or wipe out historical facts that make the United States look bad. References to Black female and male veterans disappeared from government websites. Pictures of Black female and male veterans were covered up or removed from museums. Why? Because Trump thinks that DEI (Diversity, Equity and Inclusion) policies established by his predecessors skew the crazy quilt of American history and try to make the U.S. seem evil or less than the “shining city on a hill” that so many say it represents. In fact, Trump famously idolizes President Andrew Jackson, who held slaves and in 1830 pushed through Congress the Indian Removal Act, which over a 30-year period forced Indigenous peoples to move west, beyond the Mississippi River, onto “reservations” established by the U. S. government. In 1838, more than 15,000 members of the Cherokee tribe were forced to walk — escorted by U.S. troops — from their homes in the southern U.S. to territory in present-day Oklahoma. Almost 4,000 Cherokees died on what became known as the “Trail of Tears.” That’s the type of proven U.S. history that Trump wants to eradicate.
But he’d like to bring back other pieces of the past that are almost equally troubling. On May 4, Trump decided it would be cool to reopen Alcatraz prison, which has been closed since 1963.
“For too long, America has been plagued by vicious, violent, and repeat Criminal Offenders, the dregs of society, who will never contribute anything other than Misery and Suffering,” Trump posted on his Truth Social platform. “That is why … I am directing the Bureau of Prisons, together with the Department of Justice, FBI, and Homeland Security, to reopen a substantially enlarged and rebuilt ALCATRAZ, to house America’s most ruthless and violent Offenders.”
Alcatraz in its heyday had a capacity of only 336 prisoners, and that figure was never achieved. Does Trump think there are only 336 “ruthless and violent Offenders” in America? Did he somehow overlook them in his roundup of those he terms “illegal immigrants?” Or perhaps Trump lives in a fantasy world where Clint Eastwood, who starred in “Escape from Alcatraz,” actually was imprisoned there, and that Sean Connery and Nicolas Cage saved San Francisco from being attacked by germ-warfare missiles fired by rogue elements of the military in the 1996 movie “The Rock.” One estimate puts the cost of rebuilding the Alcatraz’s main cellblock alone Alcatraz at somewhere in the neighborhood of $25 million. As a tourist attraction, Alcatraz takes in $50 million a year.
There’s already a statue of “Christopher” overlooking Alcatraz. Maybe Trump will rename the new shining prison on an island “The Christopher Columbus Memorial Maximum Security Prison at Alcatraz for Ruthless and Violent Offenders.”
All 356 of them.